The Kindness Chronicles

Kindness. The nice thing about kindness, it can be experienced with small actions or words like:

from Lesley Riley

• Last week, I told a woman (a stranger) how beautiful she looked as she walked with her dog at Blue Sky Reserve. (I also made a donation to the non-profit, since I walk there regularly and so appreciate the open, natural space!)

a card  from Judy Ranieri   (She hands them out to people, randomly)

Kindness can be accomplished with the dedication of a few hours of your day:

• My friend, Debbie Levine, works with elders, in senior centers, to create artful greeting cards in Austin, Texas. She's sponsored by philanthropist, John Russo, with the mission statement to 'help elders be less lonely, to help them connect to others in meaningful activity." Debbie told me that one of the woman recently told her, "When I make art, I don't feel my aches and pains."  So true! 

Kindness can be accomplished in much larger undertakings:

• My friend, Jan Phillips, started The Living Kindness Foundation after she visited Nigeria, and observed the children's huge need for teachers.

And, kindness, can just be in the way we speak and carry ourselves through life:


VIDEO of my sweet, very kind husband, acknowledging his watercolor teacher, Helen Shafer Garcia.

What kindnesses did you do or observe this month? Remember, tell us a kindness that you did or observed recently. Small or large, doesn't matter.  Oh, and if you missed it, here's a video interview I did with Danny.

The Kindness Chronicles

from Patti Digh

I haven't been keeping The Kindness Chronicles in my consciousness lately. The goal of this project, is to be conscious of kindness, in both the giving and receiving. And here it is, May, and I have nothing on my list of kindnesses. I've been making lots of lists this past month, but why haven't I made my kindness list? I could answer that I've been too busy. But that is a lousy, non-excuse. This also reminds me of my word for 2013 is LOVE and these two are sooooooooo connected, aren't they? 
So, I promise will really try to be conscious of kindness this month of May. Wanna join me?

The Kindness Chronicles

Along the San Clemente, CA pier. A homeless man. photo by Jane LaFazio

The Word That Is A Prayer

One thing you know when you say it:
all over the earth people are saying it with you;
a child blurting it out as the seizures take her,
a woman reciting it on a cot in a hospital.
What if you take a cab through the Tenderloin:
at a stoplight, a man in a wool cap,
yarn unraveling across his face, knocks at the window;
he says, Please.
By the time you hear what he’s saying,
the light changes, the cab pulls away,
and you don’t go back, though you know
someone just prayed to you the way you pray.
Please: a word so short
it could get lost in the air
as it floats up to God like the feather it is,
knocking and knocking, and finally
falling back to earth as rain,
as pellets of ice, soaking a black branch,
collecting in drains, leaching into the ground,
and you walk in that weather every day.

-Ellery Akers,
© 2007, The Sun (thanks to Patti Digh for sharing this poem)


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I love Anne Lamott and I love how she writes. One of my favorite books is  Bird by Bird . (You can read my review of Bird by Bird here. )

And frankly, I'm posting this, for myself. To read, and re-read and take in.

Mundo Lindo kids, finding time to simply draw  in the park ~ photo by Jane LaFazio

Finding Time  by Anne Lamott

"I sometimes teach classes on writing, during which I tell my students every single thing I know about the craft and habit. This takes approximately 45 minutes. I begin with my core belief—and the foundation of almost all wisdom traditions—that there is nothing you can buy, achieve, own, or rent that can fill up that hunger inside for a sense of fulfillment and wonder. But the good news is that creative expression, whether that means writing, dancing, bird-watching, or cooking, can give a person almost everything that he or she has been searching for: enlivenment, peace, meaning, and the incalculable wealth of time spent quietly in beauty. Then I bring up the bad news: You have to make time to do this.

This means you have to grasp that your manic forms of connectivity—cell phone, email, text, Twitter—steal most chances of lasting connection or amazement. That multitasking can argue a wasted life. That a close friendship is worth more than material success.

Needless to say, this is very distressing for my writing students. They start to explain that they have two kids at home, or five, a stable of horses or a hive of bees, and 40-hour workweeks. Or, on the other hand, sometimes they are climbing the walls with boredom, own nearly nothing, and are looking for work full-time, which is why they can’t make time now to pursue their hearts’ desires. They often add that as soon as they retire, or their last child moves out, or they move to the country, or to the city, or sell the horses, they will. They are absolutely sincere, and they are delusional."

Anne continues...

"This is what I say: First of all, no one needs to watch the news every night, unless one is married to the anchor. Otherwise, you are mostly going to learn more than you need to know about where the local fires are, and how rainy it has been: so rainy! That is half an hour, a few days a week, I tell my students. You could commit to writing one page a night, which, over a year, is most of a book.

If they have to get up early for work and can’t stay up late, I ask them if they are willing NOT to do one thing every day, that otherwise they were going to try and cram into their schedule.

They may explain that they have to go to the gym four days a week or they get crazy, to which I reply that that’s fine—no one else really cares if anyone else finally starts to write or volunteers with marine mammals. But how can they not care and let life slip away? Can’t they give up the gym once a week and buy two hours’ worth of fresh, delectable moments? (Here they glance at my butt.)

Can they commit to meeting one close friend for two hours every week, in bookstores, to compare notes? Or at an Audubon sanctuary? Or a winery?

They look at me bitterly now—they don’t think I understand. But I do—I know how addictive busyness and mania are. But I ask them whether, if their children grow up to become adults who spend this one precious life in a spin of multitasking, stress, and achievement, and then work out four times a week, will they be pleased that their kids also pursued this kind of whirlwind life?

If not, if they want much more for their kids, lives well spent in hard work and savoring all that is lovely, why are they living this manic way?

I ask them, is there a eucalyptus grove at the end of their street, or a new exhibit at the art museum? An upcoming minus tide at the beach where the agates and tidepools are, or a great poet coming to the library soon? A pond where you can see so many turtles? A journal to fill?

If so, what manic or compulsive hours will they give up in trade for the equivalent time to write, or meander? Time is not free—that’s why it’s so precious and worth fighting for.

Will they give me one hour of housecleaning in exchange for the poetry reading? Or wash the car just one time a month, for the turtles? No? I understand. But at 80, will they be proud that they spent their lives keeping their houses cleaner than anyone else in the family did, except for mad Aunt Beth, who had the vapors? Or that they kept their car polished to a high sheen that made the neighbors quiver with jealousy? Or worked their fingers to the bone providing a high quality of life, but maybe accidentally forgot to be deeply and truly present for their kids, and now their grandchildren?

I think it’s going to hurt. What fills us is real, sweet, dopey, funny life.

I’ve heard it said that every day you need half an hour of quiet time for yourself, or your Self, unless you’re incredibly busy and stressed, in which case you need an hour. I promise you, it is there. Fight tooth and nail to find time, to make it. It is our true wealth, this moment, this hour, this day."
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Thanks Anne and Ellery for the reminders to be kind to others and ourselves.
Finding balance in our lives is always a struggle, isn't it? We can just do our best. How do you find time? to take care of yourself and to answer those who say 'please?' 

The Kindness Chronicles

From this blog

• Kaye Clark Teronde shared this kindness on facebook: "On the monorail tonight, a special needs little boy looked at Paul, pointed and said ,"Santa!" He was so excited. The next 20 minutes was filled with talk of Ruby the sleigh and all the reindeer. Paul made it so beautiful for this child."

You can download this here.

• I read about the Kindness Challenge in the local newspaper. I loved that one school had students dress in yellow and black for “Bee Kind Day.” One volunteer parent set up “Kindness Station” where kids could accomplish several of the challenges, such as making a bookmark or making a card for a friend, or writing thank-you notes for cafeteria workers, bus drivers and others.The concept is simple. Students from kindergarten through high school are challenged to complete a 50-point checklist of deeds within a week (or anytime!) You can download the list here.
• I did some very simple kindnesses by gathering newspapers from a driveway in my neighborhood, and taking them to the front door of the home.
• I'm making valentines for my friends. (And created a tutorial for you, dear readers,  on Tuesday, February 5th.)

Valentine Tutorial on Feb 5, here on JaneVille

• I invited a friend to an art reception/lecture, and paid her way, just because.
• I gave a scholarship to my online class to a facebook friend. it was an unexpected surprise for her.

The Kindness Chronicles

Helping Hands made for Sandy Hook, CT by my Mundo Lindo students

I received a beautiful thank you note
from a student

Kathleen McKenna Murphy wrote on facebook:

Random act of kindness we are at Dulles international airport, walked by a soldier getting massage, I paid for it....he was on his way back to Iraq after meeting his new baby daughter...feeling good :)

A VIDEO of "My Name is Sam" by Berkley Hart (a great local San Diego band). It's a song about 'the best few minutes." a good reminder for all of us...

I drew on the rocks with Sharpie poster paint pens

my word for 2013 is LOVE

The Kindness Chronicles

With a 5 hour flight ahead of me, I boarded the plane. Economy class, of course. I had a window seat. I prefer aisle, and of course the middle seat is the worst. As I approached my seat, I noticed an elderly couple, talking to each other between the rows. He was in the middle seat, and she in the middle seat the row ahead. I watched them a minute, and could tell they probably weren't frequent travelers and would feel much better if they could sit next to each other. So...I switched seats with the woman, gave her my window seat, next to her husband and I took the dreaded middle seat in the row ahead. They thanked me profusely, and I really felt I'd done a good thing.
And as kind of a karmic thank you, the woman next to me, who knew nothing of the seat change, gave me her free drink coupon!
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I saw a woman living in her car. I was too surprised to act, and looked for her the next time I was in that parking lot. I regret that I didn't take a moment to speak to her, or offer her some money. (Or better yet, have a few zip lock bags with water, toiletries and granola bars in my car for just those moments.)
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Friends helping friends. From my Mundo Lindo after-school art program.

And, a short video from my recent trip to France:

the Kindness Chronicles

Kind things you can help with: 

Traveling Postcards  is a humanitarian organization founded on the premise that art has the ability to heal, feed and transform our lives. Hundreds of unique, hand -made art postcards, containing words of compassion and solidarity are hand delivered to individuals and communities, bringing awareness, hope, visibility, beauty and voice to women and girls whose lives have suffered from isolation, violence or repression.

Punjammies  Purchase  punjammies and not only will you get some beautiful pajamas great for lounging or sleeping, you will empower women with dignity and hope created by the Princess Project.  

The Prayer Flag Project..........just because.

Pinwheels for Peace...September 21, but you can do it today if you want.

Pet Postcard Project  created by Pokey Bolton...due October 23, benfitting Houston, Texas based animal shelters.

The Kindness Chronicles continued

more

Helen Gregory is seriously the kindest, most thoughtful person. I worked with her again recently, at the taping for my new DVD, and she couldn't be nicer. All her co-workers say the same thing. I was told that Helen goes by each person's office, everyday, around 9am just to say good morning. Smart, efficient, successful, and kind. A role model for me.

first sunday of the month reminds me
to write thank you notes!

Thanks to Chris Clark, my framer, who graciously donated his framing skill when he framed some prints for me that I'm donating to the upcoming San Diego Brain Injury Foundation Fundraiser on Sept 22 in San Diego.

Thanks to the kindness of my many students. Many who recently took my classes at CREATE in Chicago, including:

Sheila Slater

Sheila pictured above, took my two of my online classes. She came to my classroom at CREATE in Chicago to show me the beautiful book she created with all the pages she'd painted in my class and to tell me how much she enjoyed the class.

Janice Berkebile has also taken online classes from me and I also met her for the first time at CREATE (darn, I didn't get her photo!) 
Janice made me this fabulous pod necklace, because she knew I love them.

pod by  Janice Berkebile

I just returned from traveling in Chicago and Cleveland, and when you're traveling you really do need to rely on the kindness of strangers. Thanks to the cab driver who explained which train station I should go to. Thanks to another cab driver who kindly asked me if I was alright (I was fine.) Thanks to the many people who gave me directions when I asked.

Sukkha: a Sanskrit word meaning 'happiness for no reason.' It's going to be my word for the rest of this year and all of the next year.

The Kindness Chronicles

Kindness - by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

Patti Digh made me aware of this poem. Patti and her husband John are going through a terrible thing right now. Read about it here.

And remind yourself, like I remind myself...try to be kind. to everyone. always.

The Kindness Chronicles

I must mention the heroes of the terrible shootings in Colorado recently. The teenager who tried to save the little girl, the girlfriend who carried her wounded friend across two parking lots, all the people that threw themselves on top of someone else to shield them. Truly, the ultimate kindness.

and on a much much lighter note...

• I love those people who, on the freeway, see that your blinker is on, and slow down so can change lanes.
• Danny Gregory made me a video! See my July 25th post.
• Ruth de Vos created an artist retreat for her children.
• Mary Beth Shaw asked me to design stencils for her company, StencilGirl Products. My VERY first product design ever!
• When I taught for the Society of Calligraphy, Southern California, Jannie gave me a lovely thank you note and wrapped gift. So sweet and unexpected.

hand-written thank you notes

• Cindi Goodwin wrote, on facebook: .......saw one of my friends @ the Dollar Store with a cartfull of pencils~paper~glue~scissors~erasers etc....asked her what in the world? She :"always loved new school supplies... these are for kids whose parents are down on their luck."...I didn't want to let her have all the fun so I joined in ,too!

• Inspired by Cindi, I made sent a gift certificate from an art supply store to one of the very best, most dedicated elementary school teachers I know, Mindy Crum. She teaches at a low income school and gives her heart and soul to those kids. I know, I've volunteered there in the past.I hope she buys art supplies and invites me again to volunteer to teach her 4th graders another art project.

The Kindness Chronicles

My husband bought this little sculpture, and placed the flower in it. 

Michael deMeng and his art abandonment project (see Video below)



I've started a series on my blog "Interviews as Inspiration." I like spotlighting creative people and I'm hoping you, my readers, will be inspired by them to do something you've been dreaming of. (Interviews are here, here and here with more to come!)

I donated to YMCA to send kids to summer camp

I donated to Visions Art Museum 

I offered a scholarship to a teacher friend of mine, to my classes at an art retreat I'm teaching this summer.

working at keeping this in my heart at all times

hmmm, looks like I've been a bit short on kindnesses the month of June! I'll try to be kinder in July!

The Kindness Chronicles

A video of my prayer flags. The Prayer Flag Project. Anyone can join in. The making feels good, and so does the intention. You can see all my flags here.

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Right before Mothers Day, teacher Susan Avery Clark did a kind thing for her students and their mothers. She opened her class room, providing art materials and dried lavender, from her garden, for the students to make cards and sachets for their moms.

More than 30  high school kids showed up to make mother's day cards during their lunch hour. 

high school kid, with a card he made for his mom

  

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From Patti Digh. (free download here.)

I just returned from teaching sketching and watercolor: journal style in Orvieto, Italy (with Adventures in Italy) and one of my students, Bob, taught us yoga every morning at 7am. So generous of him and such a great way to start the day.

A couple of other kindnesses:

• a young man lifted my suitcase to the overhead rack on the train to Rome
• my new friend, Jan offered to visit my mother-in-law in Seattle on a regular basis
• Marsha bought flowers for the nuns in Orvieto
• my dear husb, saved the life of a lizard he found floating in the watering can
• Deborah Stanley shared info about the kindness chronicles here and here.
• Amy, who cuts my hair, does the blue in my bangs for free

me and my blue bangs in Italy last month

Leave a comment and tell me about your kindness chronicles! 
Here are my past Kindness Chronicles posts for March, April and May.

The Kindness Chronicles

I volunteered to teach 30 4th graders how to make
symmetrical butterflies from construction paper.

It's easy for me to teach art to kids. I bet that you have a passion that you could share. Why not volunteer in a classroom, just for an hour or two, and teach the kids something fun. Their smiles will reward you tenfold.

some more kindness:

• My husband's mother lives in a residential senior facility in Seattle. Every month, elementary school children come to the residence and read to the seniors.
• A Mundo Lindo mom brought juice packs for all the kids one day.
• 
  
  • See the scarf I'm wearing in this picture? I tye-dyed it myself. I realized that my adorable, young, yoga teacher would look great in it, so I gave it to her as a little gift.
  
  

• My husband's friends from college, came again this year, to play in the San Diego Brain Injury Foundation golf tourney, and show their support for my husband. 

My husband, Don Strom (left) and  our friend, Tom Blinn at the golf tourney

Rick Keating and Jim Kelly, Don's college fraternity brothers.
Rick and Jim started the Don Strom Scholarship Fund for Don to select and help brain injury survivors with financial assistance. Rick also volunteers as  MC of the golf tourney dinner. These guys fly down from Seattle each year for the tourney. 

My husband, Don, and Steven, one of the brain injury survivors that the Don Strom Scholarship Fund paid for to play in the
San Diego Brain Injury Foundation charity golf tourney.

Teenagers being and seeing kindness:

My last Kindness Chronicle post, I showed you the form Susan Avery Clark made for her high school students, here.  Remember, these are teenagers. Here are a few:

Susie's question: In complete sentences write what you did to be kind.

• "I told Mrs. Clark that I enjoy her teaching just now."
• "Every time someone needs me to listen to them and give them advice, I'm always there."
• "My aunt had moved into an apartment. I found out she was sleeping on the floor, and hurting her back, so I gave my bed to her. She was really happy."
• "I helped a random kid carry his bike down a slippery hill last weekend."
• "One act of kindness I did was when my mom was bringing in the groceries all by herself, and I just started to help her without her telling me to."
• "I participated in a soup kitchen for the homeless. It's every Monday."

She also had the kids write about seeing someone else being kind.

• " I saw a policeman and an intoxicated homeless man. The homeless man reached out to grab the officer, and instead of taking him to jail, the policeman put out his hand and said 'let's get you something to eat."
• "When someone waits and holds open the door at a store. It's little stuff like that that makes me feel good."
• "Two weeks ago my brother got deported so me, and the rest of my family went to go see him. As we were walking to cross back (over the Mexico/US border) two guys dropped their passports and this little boy selling charms saw the passports on the ground, grabbed them and ran to catch up to them and give them their passports."

I made cupcakes, using flower images from my sketchbook. I served them to our San Diego Sketchcrawl group.
 
You can read my other Kindness Chronicles posts here and here. I post The Kindness Chronicles on the first Sunday of every month. Join me.

Please share, in the comments, what kindnesses you did this past month...It will inspire  others, I promise.

The Kindness Chronicles

Write a note of appreciation to someone who doesn't expect it.

Teacher, Susan Avery Clark created this form (above) for her high school students. I'll keep you posted on what they write about.

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cupcakes are kind

I made cupcakes for my Mundo Lindo kids. Just because.

...and with 4 cupcakes left over, I walked out into the park and found 2 young moms with 4 small children, and offered them the cupcakes. They were thrilled and surprised.

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Why I Wake Early
by Mary Oliver
Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who make the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the  
miserable and the crotchety--


best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light--
good morning, good morning, good morning.


Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.

My friend, Fred Jacobsen, made these "Be Kind, pass it on" cards to distribute. A lovely little reminder.

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You can join The Kindness Chronicles. Grab the badge for your blog or email me. And post on the first Sunday of the month. (My March 4 post here.)
Meanwhile check out these Chroniclers today Lyric Kinard,  Linda Kittmer, Tracie Lyn Huskamp  and Cheryl Spieth Gardiner and leave your kindness chronicle in the comments section. THANKS!